A Monologue or a Soliloquy…

I was thinking…

Is a blog a monologue or a soliloquy?

Can it be both?

Do these posts help you know me… or help me know me?

- ND

When People Stop Caring...

There are times when it becomes obvious that people stop caring about what they are doing.There are little telltales that I notice. Things that while on their own are merely an annoyance, but in the larger picture signal a lack of concern. Here's an example from this morning.

Yes... those are two red coffee swizzle sticks in the drain. Yes... I said TWO!

After moving the wayward swizzle sticks to the trash, I spent a few minutes contemplating a world where people cared enough to pick up their own trash. A world where coffee mugs made it to the dishwasher instead of crowding the sink. A place where people did the right thing without needing to be asked or told.

I will keep hoping for that world.

- ND

Meatloaf...

Tonight's main course is meatloaf. A hearty dinner choice for a frigid winter evening.

I'm a big fan of meatloaf. Bacon may be the candy of meats, but meatloaf is the loaf of meats, and that title has stood the test of time.

The time has come that meatloaf got the credit it deserves. It should be regarded as the finest loaf shaped meat entrée in the universe.

But then... that isn't the story I came here to tell.

A few guests will be joining us this evening. As circumstances would have it, one of tonight's guests has never had meatloaf. I'm sure your reaction was the same as mine... what... wait... how is that possible? As the invitation was sent via text, I replied with "Tell me that is a joke". Which received the following reply, "Nope, Isn't it just a huge hamburger?".

Blasphemy!!!

I'm sure that I could spend hours expounding the differences between meatloaf and hamburgers. But I'll get right to it... hamburgers are great, but they're no meatloaf.

Hamburgers, while delicious, are shifty loaners that can be customized to the whims and taste of their consumer. Hamburgers are for finicky people who want things just so.

Meatloaf is the everyman's meat dish. No snobbery here. Everyone gets the same thing. Love me or leave me, you can almost hear it say.

And love you I do, you lovely bunch of loaf shaped meat goodness.

We shall see if the feeling is shared by the most recent initiate into the cult of loaf.

- ND

How I (Didn't) Remember It...

I have come to an interesting realization after reviewing some of my old posts. How you remember something isn't always exactly how it happened.


If you are familiar with Nabor Dan's Place, then you will remember that in 2007 I quit smoking with the aid of hypnosis. My recollection of that process was that I smoked up to the time of the hypnosis session, and then immediately after had no desire to smoke. I have retold the story numerous times. It always goes something like this...


I went to the appointment. I got hypnotized. I got in my car and drove home. I didn't crave a cigarette for 6 months. I fell off the wagon and became a smoker again because... I like to drink, and have the spine of a jellyfish.


Apparently, reality differs significantly from my altered memories. In looking back at my posts, the break from smoking was not as clean as I remembered. In addition to spending FSA funds on the hypnosis session, I also allocated significant funding to nicotine replacement therapy. There are references made to the purchase of patches, lozenges, and even pharmaceuticals. While I can confirm that I never used the pharmaceuticals,  I can also confirm that the patch and lozenges were acquired and used almost immediately after my session. So I may have quit smoking with the aid of hypnosis, but I was still addicted to and using nicotine.


What I find interesting is that, over time, my memories were tailored to fit a romanticized vision of what transpired. All of the details that didn't nicely fit the narrative fall away, and what was left became the story.


While I'm saddened that the details of my attempt to quit were no longer in my memories, I'm also glad that there was a filter. My belief that hypnosis had worked to cure me 7 years ago kept the hope alive that it could work that magic again. The sanitized memory served as the motivation to give the process another try and, more importantly, that it would work again. It's possible that if I had remembered the experience differently, I would have convinced myself I couldn't do it successfully.


Perhaps our minds work this way for a reason. I'm sure I'm not qualified to answer that supposition. What I know anecdotally, is that the belief that hypnosis would work caused me to attempt it again. My experience this time fits better with my perception of the past than my writing of it years ago.


Whatever the mental mechanics, I am again smoke free. This time it was accomplished without the aids and crutches that apparently I forgot were a part of the experience 7 years ago. I'll be cigarette and nicotine free for 20 days today. I'm glad my mind convinced me that this was possible, and forgot to mention the failures.


Also... congratulations to Missy for the same accomplishment.


- ND

Lazarus and Nabor Dan's Place...

Although there is no proof that Nabor Dan's Place was returned from the dead by the hand of God, it appears to have returned nonetheless. I will leave it to the reader to determine whether this is a miracle or a sign of the apocalypse.


I have decided to revive this space. To rededicate it to the person that I am today. To offer yet another glimpse into my thoughts and my life.


Enter at your own risk.


For anyone who isn't already familiar with Nabor Dan's Place, I'll keep the archive available.


Thanks for reading, and may all of you have a happy 2015.



- ND

Nabor Dan Returns...

I have returned from my week of horse camping with a slew of new content for you. I know I have been remiss in posting over the last couple of months, but I intend on getting lots of new posts out to you over the next several weeks so keep your browsers refreshed and stay tuned...

Here's the first in a series of photos of Nabor Dan and friends from the Big Meadow trip.

On my left is Mike on his horse Raider. I'm riding Pine.

- ND

Great photo...

I'm rarely happy about the photos that are taken of me. Anyone who knows me will have at least one picture of me making "crazy eyes" or just looking in general like I'm suffering from a huge gas bubble. I'm convinced ( and let's hope that I'm right about this) that I look better in person then on film. I'm comfortable with the fact that I'm not really very photogenic...

A friend of mine had this picture of me in her album, and was nice enough to forward it along. I think that it's one of the best pic's I've seen of me in a long time.


Thanks to Jamie for the forward... Thanks to Jamie and Shanon for helping make me look this good.

- ND

PS - this was taken at Topsiders at Lake of The Ozarks after the Rocklahoma trip.

The Rocklahoma project...

The first of them arrives...

- ND

Headway...

I'm sure that it has become a running gag with my friends and co-workers, that at any time if asked, I would be headed to a homeowners meeting. Unfortunately, the process has been anything but a joke. It has been the meeting equivalent of the Bataan Death March. Finally however, it seemed like we are getting somewhere, and perhaps the light at the proverbial "end of the tunnel" might be flickering in the distance.

Last Friday was a turning point for me. I had a special meeting scheduled to finally put to rest an issue that has been dividing the assembly for months. I thought that I had sufficient votes rallied to pass the motion, and was looking forward to moving on after literally months of contentious meetings over the issue. As it turned out, the meeting devolved into a yelling match (of which I did not partake) between some trustees and a few homeowners. I was appalled by the whole scene, and walked away totally dejected. I told myself that I couldn't be part of an organization so dysfunctional. I'd have to resign from this mess and let someone who had a higher pain tolerance take it from there. Then I remembered a quote I'd once heard...

"All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good people to do nothing."

After some soul searching I decided that it would be better to fight then flee. So I got on the phone with some of the other trustees and helped arrange a meeting. Those that are like minded sensible people were invited, and those who thrive on chaos and disorder were excluded. A total of seven of the 11 sitting trustees were present. Enough to create a quorum and pass any resolution or motion that comes in front of the board. You might characterize it as a voting block that intends to create an orderly transition to some sort of effectiveness of the board.

The last thing I wanted to be when I started this was a politician. I didn't have a clue how difficult it would be to constantly deal with irrational people who have secret agendas, and how much of my time would be dedicated to disproving their take on rules and laws. If we can simply achieve a few of the goals that we set out to achieve, then the initial nightmare will have been worth the effort. If the coalition that has been formed can stand together then all things are possible. If the coalition falls apart then all of the efforts to date will have accomplished exactly nothing.

We will see if my diplomatic skills are enough to keep things on track, or if they wilt in the onslaught that is sure to develop when the "outsiders" find out they have been out maneuvered. The coalition intends to be fair and honest, but that might not prove to be enough to move our agenda. Those who favor doing things "their way" always tend to have the loudest voices and the largest banners. Those who attempt to maintain a dignified and contemplative approach are drowned out by the shrill voices of the dissenters. Only time will tell if the outsiders will fall in line.

Wish me luck.

- ND

Milestone...

I noticed today that the counter on the blog had turned 180 days since my hypnosis session and formal quit time. I almost missed that I had reached the milestone all ex smokers eventually reach... 6 months and counting.

The last 6 months have not been without temptation and some degree of failure. I wouldn't be truthful with you if I told you that I hadn't touched as a single smoke in the last 6 months. Honestly, that would be a total fabrication. I have, on occasion... and usually under the influence of legal intoxicants, succumbed to the temptation to smoke a cigarette. Please understand that this has not made me a smoker, but just continued to reinforce that quitting was a good idea. I still consider myself a non-smoker, and I don't intend to restart the habit.

That being said, I'm glad that the process of quitting has been as easy as it has been. I am still using replacement therapy including either a patch or nicotine lozenge daily. I really don't know if I need them or if they are just a crutch. I don't really care at this point as long as I continue not smoking. As the doctor said... the patch is a whole lot better for your health then smoking.

Well... that's it for now. I hope that in another 180 days I can write about the next major milestone being as unremarkable as the first. I assume that at some point it won't be about counting anymore. It will just be something that I look back at and wonder why I ever smoked in the first place.

- ND

PS - The $680ish saved so far is helping to finance my petroleum addiction.

Old friend... New blog...

My friend Judy has created a new blog to narrate her journey across the country as part of the RAAM (Race Across America). She is crewing for a team of riders who are "relay riding" bicycles across the country. I'd try to describe her role in the process, but she'd probably do a better job.

Check out her blog at: http://www.adventuresahead.blogspot.com/

Find out more about RAAM here: http://www.raceacrossamerica.org/

I have added a link to her blog to the links section on the lower right. I'm sure that she would love to hear from you.

- ND

I'm with the band dude...

This just in...

Nabor Dan has been officially invited to join his favorite band as they travel to Oklahoma to participate in a huge rock festival. The band "The Real Me" will be reprising their original name FRONTRUNNER for the event.

We will be traveling to a town just outside of Tulsa for the huge "Rocklahoma" event. FRONTRUNNER will be playing the side stage on Thursday, and then we will be taking the RV to The Lake of the Ozarks for a gig on Friday at Topsiders.

Nabor Dan is very excited about the invitation from the band to participate in this trip, and will now stop talking in the third person.

- ND

The hat makes the man...

I was told that a cowboy hat is necessary for the horse camping excursion and have acquired one. My friend Dave generously offered to provide one for me, but I decided that I'd find one and bring it along. Dave gave me "fair warning" that cowboy hats were invented long before airplanes and that they could be awkward and difficult to manage on the flight. I decided that preparation for the trip would be part of the whole experience, and that buying a hat was one of the high points of preparation.

So here is a picture of my choice. I got the brown version. I picked it up at Cabelas.



Dave commented on the Aussie style with the word... Eeewww. But I have come to understand that he is a stickler for detail, and only something that fits his old west image would have met with a positive response. I have yet to break it to him that this hat looked best with the assless chaps I intend to wear. (Thanks to Guy Fawlkes for breaking that story)

I like the way it looks, so for the moment I'm going with it.

- ND

Guns - revised...

My friend Dave has suggested a gun that he feel is more appropriate based on my experience with firearms and current cowboy "image".

Here's the image he thinks I should be looking to emulate.


And these are Nabor Dan's friends... Nabor Dan doesn't need enemies.

- ND

Guns...

As I prepare for my great western adventure, I am learning that horse camping in the Sierras is not the same as a typical Missouri camping trip. After the obvious differences like location, and horses, and the mountains... there's the guns difference. Apparently when you horse camp you carry a sidearm.

I've been told that having a gun when horse camping serves a variety of purposes. The first is the care of the horse. If by some unfortunate accident, the horse would become critically injured in the process of riding, you have but one choice... put the horse down. I've been informed that the most humane method of doing this in a remote area is with your sidearm. Apparently other options are available, but every one that was mentioned sounded far too slow or gruesome to me, so I'm on board with the gun option.

Another reason for the weapons is wildlife. Apparently man has managed to run all of the big predatory animals out of Missouri, but that is not the case in northern California. I've been told to expect that there are bear and big cats lurking out in the wilderness of California, and that your best defense is a good offense. The idea is to scare not harm, but if they refuse to leave, that we are prepared to make a stand rather then become dinner.

Not being one who has ever carried a sidearm, I'm not sure what to expect. My friend has a small arsenal of weapons, so the most difficult part of this might be choosing the one that matches my western attire. I have been given a slew of options... here is the one I liked the best.


OK... I know that you're probably asking yourself what kind of western attire goes with a Beretta? I wish I could answer... but all I can think of is mine... I guess.

I'll be posting more as I start getting ready for the trip.

- ND

Vacation scheduled...

So it's official. I'm headed out to California to do some horse camping with my friend Dave. I purchased the tickets today, so I'm officially "bought in" for the trip.

I'm looking forward to getting away from the cell phones and doing some riding. That's not to imply that I have any experience in riding horses. I haven't had my butt in a saddle in 20 + years. The last time was in Mexico on a beach with a horse that probably would have been turned away from the Elmer's corporation. Dave's horses by no means fall into the same class as the Mexican horse.

Here's a pic of the horses. I think Dave wants me to ride the little one in front of the guy in the middle of the photo. It looks pretty small to me, but he's the expert.



- ND

We choose go to the moon...

On May, 25 1961 President John Kennedy gave a speech at Rice Stadium committing the country to a program of research and development that eventually lead us to the moon. He said...

"We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win, and the others, too." (full text of the speech here)

Why did he set such an audacious goal, and how could he possibly hope to achieve it? There was clearly a political motive. The Soviets had beaten the United States in both the first satellite and the first man into space. The Soviets had clearly taken the world by surprise in their conquest of space, and we were in a game of catch up.

I have a hard time playing the achievement off as purely a political move. Perhaps it's just that the times are so different now, but looking back I have a hard time thinking that Kennedy's plan was just a cold war chess move. I like to think of it in a little more romantic way. I think of it as a leader who pressed the nation to unite behind a goal, and make sacrifices to ensure that the goal is met.

That thought, the unity of our people behind a singular goal, is the reason for this post. I'm not sure if it's our vision less leaders, or the sad lemmings that are the populace that are to blame, but somewhere this country lost the ability to create and execute a vision. I'm speaking about our continued reliance on oil, and the lack of any plan to quench the ever growing obsession for it. It's a problem that is universally recognized, but no one seems to have a good plan for solving. President Bush acknowledged our countries "addiction" to oil, and his suggestion has been to drill for more in Alaska. A suggestion that seems akin to giving heroin to a heroin addict without a treatment plan, but there really haven't been any other suggestions that make any more sense or really take on the problem. Frankly, whether Democrat or Republican, none of our leaders suggestions make much long term sense. So what should we do?

I suggest that the best course is to set a national agenda to free ourselves from our oil addiction. I think our leaders need to stop looking at ways to cover up the problem, and instead provide incentives to solve the problem. I'm not suggesting that government create the solution, but rather that the government create the vision and the incentives. The free market will solve the problem if given the opportunity and the incentive.

So what am I suggesting? It's simple... I suggest that our leaders make the commitment that within 10 years we are completely free of the need for foreign oil. That incentives are created to ensure that every American can replace their petroleum addiction with a more practical more sustainable energy source. And finally... that our leaders are held to account for making that vision into a reality. It's a tough challenge, but one that this country is up to facing. I'd like to think that the descendants of the veterans of WWII, and the children of the scientists who got NASA to the moon might like a challenge of their own. A challenge that perhaps in 50 years or 100 our descendants will look back on and marvel at our ingenuity and tenacity in solving.

- ND

Adjusted Score - Deer 0 - Jeep 1

Well I guess my pessimism over the eventual totaling of my jeep was without merit. As it turns out, the people at the insurance company must think that repair is cheaper then replacement. Then end result is that my Cherokee and I will continue to have a long and happy relationship.

(This is a rendering of the moment of impact*)

- ND

Final Score - Deer 1 Jeep 0

I would like to clarify for all of the people who think that Bambi's mother was killed in a forest fire. The sad but true story is that she was snuffed out on the front of my Jeep Cherokee last night.

If you have never seen a deer fly, it's actually quite impressive. It's quite a bit like the way Santa's reindeer are drawn in all of the Christmas books. I was half tempted, in that slow motion second of impact, to look for a tiny red sleigh tied to the ass end of the poor beastie. Unfortunately, the only gift I will likely receive will be a $500 deductible charge for repair of the damages.

(I believe that this is what it looked like)

There were no winners in this epic battle of machine vs. flesh. The Jeep has a crushed in front bumper and grill, and a leaking radiator. In driving past the point of impact on my way to work this morning it appeared that the deer didn't fair well either. Frankly it looked quite a bit like a crime scene. The only missing elements were the chalk outlines and the crime scene police tape. At least it didn't suffer... It was gone, so I assume it is being made into sausage somewhere.

We'll see if the insurance company decides that my 10 year old vehicle is worth repairing, or if they choose to let it retire. So much for the idea of no car payment.

-ND

Catching up...

Sorry to all my loyal readers for being out of touch for so long. I will attempt to make amends here for missing a couple of weeks.

Trivia night in Jefferson City two Saturdays past was quite the event. Not only did the Paddy's team handily win the contest, but we alienated ourselves from the Catholic Church int the process. Apparently the good Padre at the next table didn't find our raucous behavior suitable for the event. Perhaps it was the hearing aid he was wearing that convinced him that we were doing or saying something unseemly, but it is with all honesty that I say we did nothing offensive. What comments we made that could have offended were made in Gaelic. Being of German heritage I suspect he wouldn't have understood them. I suspect he was just a bit of a curmudgeon.

To those who were there... I offer a the following table cheer... pogue mahone!

To update everyone on the homeowners fracas... there has been Herculean effort with little tangible result. The merry band of recall supporters has yet to achieve its goal despite great effort to collect proxy's for the as yet unscheduled recall vote. In a rather tabloidesque aside, it has been reported that several boxes of paperwork from the office of our clubhouse might have been taken by the soon-to-be-recalled trustee, and a towering blaze was set in said trustees backyard. Keep in mind, that this is second hand information and goes totally without investigation. It would however fit well into the character of the person in question. I suspect that the trustee might have served on Enron's board of directors, or in the Nixon White House before being elected to the current position. Not that I'm bitter about anything...

That's the update... enjoy!

- ND