How I (Didn't) Remember It...

I have come to an interesting realization after reviewing some of my old posts. How you remember something isn't always exactly how it happened.


If you are familiar with Nabor Dan's Place, then you will remember that in 2007 I quit smoking with the aid of hypnosis. My recollection of that process was that I smoked up to the time of the hypnosis session, and then immediately after had no desire to smoke. I have retold the story numerous times. It always goes something like this...


I went to the appointment. I got hypnotized. I got in my car and drove home. I didn't crave a cigarette for 6 months. I fell off the wagon and became a smoker again because... I like to drink, and have the spine of a jellyfish.


Apparently, reality differs significantly from my altered memories. In looking back at my posts, the break from smoking was not as clean as I remembered. In addition to spending FSA funds on the hypnosis session, I also allocated significant funding to nicotine replacement therapy. There are references made to the purchase of patches, lozenges, and even pharmaceuticals. While I can confirm that I never used the pharmaceuticals,  I can also confirm that the patch and lozenges were acquired and used almost immediately after my session. So I may have quit smoking with the aid of hypnosis, but I was still addicted to and using nicotine.


What I find interesting is that, over time, my memories were tailored to fit a romanticized vision of what transpired. All of the details that didn't nicely fit the narrative fall away, and what was left became the story.


While I'm saddened that the details of my attempt to quit were no longer in my memories, I'm also glad that there was a filter. My belief that hypnosis had worked to cure me 7 years ago kept the hope alive that it could work that magic again. The sanitized memory served as the motivation to give the process another try and, more importantly, that it would work again. It's possible that if I had remembered the experience differently, I would have convinced myself I couldn't do it successfully.


Perhaps our minds work this way for a reason. I'm sure I'm not qualified to answer that supposition. What I know anecdotally, is that the belief that hypnosis would work caused me to attempt it again. My experience this time fits better with my perception of the past than my writing of it years ago.


Whatever the mental mechanics, I am again smoke free. This time it was accomplished without the aids and crutches that apparently I forgot were a part of the experience 7 years ago. I'll be cigarette and nicotine free for 20 days today. I'm glad my mind convinced me that this was possible, and forgot to mention the failures.


Also... congratulations to Missy for the same accomplishment.


- ND